April 2008

More Spring at the Arboretum

In a few short weeks, spring has exploded upon the inhabitants of the local arboretum.

My favorites this time were the fiddle heads on the ferns.

And the two crazies who kept me company.

my personal roller coaster

I was feeling all excited today because I've basically made it to 36 weeks (well, as of tomorrow) and now I can deliver at the birth center instead of the hospital. My mom came for the day, and we took a long walk around the arboretum, which I've been holding back on, so it was nice to go. The baby is SO incredibly low and low back pain (that's been different from my other back pain) started last night; general yuckness. But no real contractions, just occasional Braxton Hicks. I've been holding back and resting, and today I felt excited and free to have this baby.

Then we went to my midwife appt. And I found my GBS test was positive. And she's like "It's hard when your first baby is early, because you could easily go all the way with your next." which is true. And sort of had been my mindset until our stint at the hospital a week and a half ago to stop contractions. I mentioned that I had already been at the hospital to stop labor and she was like--oh that wasn't labor or you would've have the baby; you'll have that kind of thing a lot at the end and you should just ignore it. No, they weren't contractions producing dilation, but it's hard to just ignore contractions coming every 3-5 mins for over 8 hours! Such as that stint was. whatever.

She didn't say anything that wasn't true. I could very well go all the way to 40 weeks. But she wasn't very encouraging about it either, just sort of matter-of-fact. And I kind of thought she'd do an internal exam, which she didn't, which is probably good, because unnecessary prying around is probably good to avoid, but it left me feeling like a pregnant blob and not like someone who might give birth soon. She didn't say anything encouraging about the fact that I made it this far. And in a sense, she didn't say anything different than the midwife said last time (there are 7 in the group, so I'm always seeing a different one), but last week the way the other midwife said it encouraged me and motivated me to keep persevering.

When we got to the car, I just cried. I cried all the way home and cried myself to sleep for a nap. I'm glad my mom was here.

I don't know what i was expecting. I guess I've been focusing too much on just making it to May 1 that May 29 just seemed like a laughable impossibility. Or maybe part of me even thought that if she did an internal exam she'd exclaim "holy cow! this baby is going to fall out!" I sort of feel like I've been running a marathon and starting to feel like i could spot the finish line, but someone pointed out to me that there was this whole extra 5k loop that I hadn't seen. Maybe I'll have this baby in four days, maybe in four weeks. Maybe some people just feel this crappy for weeks and weeks. And it's probably a good thing for the baby to bake a little longer. *sigh* I just feel really discouraged.

Right now I'm just trying to focus on being thankful for the little encouragements: my mom being here and my friend making us a meal for tonight.

School Fun of late

in

We've been having a lot of spring fun at school lately.

Almost two weeks ago, the early childhood center had their spring fling, which included presentations by all the classes. Ellis's class (the youngest) did a little play/presentation of The Very Hungry Caterpillar, which they've been studying this unit. E and his best buddy A and Cute Little Girl were the "narrators" with some help from the power point on the big screen behind them. The other kids took turns showing big posters of fruit. E and A were especially cute. They were like a standup comedy routine, totally playing off of eachother and interacting with the powerpoint. They had everybody cracking up! I wanted to make a little movie of it with my clips...there's still time. My boy's first play!!

After the presentation, the kids played outside for a bit in the warm spring sun, and then we had a little pizza lunch in the kids' classroom. E was such a little host to me, I was really touched. He went up and got a plate from the teacher who was serving and chose his little pieces of fruits and veggies (he doesn't like pizza). When the teacher instructed him to go sit down at the table, he said NO, picked up another plate and signed Mommy, and made sure I had exactly what he had and then we sat down together. It was so sweet. *melt*

Saturday was Community Day at PSD, which basically translates for our family into Inflatable Paradise. Ellis went down these slides for about two hours straight. As soon as his feet touched the ground he was saying/signing "MORE", and off to stand in line again.

The Grand Finale for the class's unit on The Very Hungry Caterpillar was a trip to the Academy of Natural Science. One of the perks of being a stay-at-home-mom: getting to go with my kid on his first field trip! And let me tell you, there's nothing cuter than a little school bus full of car seats. So how does a field trip of 2-3 year olds work? One adult per child. There were a couple of other moms/grandmas and some extra staff, and I was impressed with how smoothly everything went.

We had some time to look at the exhibits, which the kids loved.

Then it was our turn for the Butterfly Exhibit, which is a room like a greenhouse, humid and full of plants. Butterflies and moths were flying freely everywhere and sitting on the plant life. It was really cool. I think everyone was entranced from the littlest kids to all the adults.

hanging on

I've felt pretty lack-lustre all week for posting. After Sunday night's episode with contractions, Giving Birth moved from a future possibility to an immanent possibility in our minds, and it's been a little nerve-wracking ever since.

On Wednesday I met with the midwife who took my Group B strep test a little early, which is good. I totally missed this test with E so was automatically put on antibiotics. Hopefully, it will be negative thus reducing the need to poke things into my arms.

I keep a very vague, general idea of Due Date (e.g. "end of May"), because I hate it when people get hung up on one day, when very few people actually give birth on their due dates. But having a specific due date does mean something to me at the moment, because the birth center I'm going to only does births between 36 and 42 weeks. So apparently I'm 36 weeks on May 1, so if I go into labor before then I have to go to the hospital that they work with, but thankfully, the midwife goes with me. At this point I'm prepared for both. And on Wednesday the midwife that if I went into labor they'll let me. No more stopping contractions. She felt around my belly and sized up the baby, guessing that he could very well be 6 lbs like E was for this gestational age.

Yesterday I had about four hours of regular contractions that petered out to nothing. (Every 3-5 mins, but short like 15-20secs and fairly mild) And I've been feeling "yuck" and crampy yesterday and today with a few more contractions (stronger ctrxn every 10mins for one hour but then I took a bath and they cleared up). How long could this go on? Who knows? Chris has been a fantastic help. This is the guy who would rather starve than stop working to heat up a ready-made plate of leftovers in the microwave for lunch--this guy has made dinner almost every night this week.

So anyway. There's a part of me that feels like that I won't last another week. A part of me that has no idea, can't even fathom beyond then. And pretty much all of me that does not want to be pregnant anymore.

keeping the bun in the oven

A little excitement over here in babywatch last night.

I've been really tired this weekend. It's been lovely and warm (though I'm pleased to note that my feet are no longer swollen now that I've taken a break from basking in the sun). I rested a lot this weekend. But yesterday woke up feeling yuck. You know that weird yuck at late pregnancy that can't really be defined other than yuck? I did morning nursery at church, came home and had a quick dinner, and rested awhile. All the while feeling yuck and experiencing random contractions.

I was IMing my friend and noticed the time and it occurred to me that even though they were short and light (maybe 15 secs long), there a lot of contractions. Then I started timing them and they were like 3-5 mins apart, pretty regular, though fairly light, but definitive. So I called the midwife. Since I'm somewhere between the end of 34wk/beginning 35wk, I had to go to the hospital instead of the birth center.

When I was all hooked up I could definitely see the regular pattern of contractions (that was the only good thing about being hooked up to a monitor--I think it's cool to see the little wave read-out). I was fairly well hydrated anyway when I went in, b/c I had been drinking water all day hoping to help with the yuck. But after they realized that here we were the third or fourth hour into regular contractions every 3-5 mins, they hooked me up to an IV to see if more aggressive hydration would help. Four hours later, nothing. So I had to get three intermittent doses of anti-contraction medicine. Total yuck!!!! Made me feel jittery and my heart pound. Well, it did the trick. We got home around 2 am. And I really, really hope I can hang on for another week and a half, because I really, really, really don't want to go back to the hospital. Monitors and IV's are not for me.

It's a good thing I came in when I did, because if I had gone on for awhile I really might have started going into labor, but because we caught it early, my waters are still intact and my cervix hadn't begun to dilate.

So anyway. That's my drama. Chris was worried that this baby wouldn't have an exciting birth story like Ellis, but he's not doing so shabby at this point. I could do with less exciting myself...

never say never

Thirty-five weeks into my second pregnancy I am experiencing a pregnancy symptom I have hithertofore never experienced: swollen feet.

I'm more annoyed about this than the stretch marks. My last hold-out. I am now one big puffy gigantic whale. It's a good thing that Ellis has recently learned how to speak whale from a certain little blue fish named Dory.

you know you're the mom of a deaf kid when...

... you continually have to stop yourself from asking all the old people about their hearing aids.

(And you wonder if they know they could get their earmolds in sparkles or fun colors. Just sayin.)

more arboretum

We went back to the arboretum this afternoon when we had more time to wander and to sit and stare into the trees. I think I forgot about spring, and now that it's here I feel like I can't drink it in enough. Pictures don't quite capture how amazing it is to sit under a canopy of flowering trees.

The Virginia bluebells are blooming. When I was a kid, I loved the bluebells.

evaluated

One of the things that needs to happen before baby is getting Ellis's IEP squared away, which is scheduled for May 2.

So far, the IEP is turning out to be a much saner arrangement than E's IFSP (the 0-3 program). It's just us and two intelligent people who are easy to work with and are specialized in deaf education. With the IFSP, there's a weird arrangement of service coordinator (who is basically a paper pusher with no specialized knowledge), a representative from a contracting agency, a crazy array of teachers providing a variety of specialized services. I find it a little annoying.

Yesterday E's new speech teacher was accompanied to our home by the person from our county's intermediate unit who supervises all the deaf ed stuff. She's really great. They both are. I imagine we probably differ a little on a personal level in terms of deaf educational philosophy, but they are really supportive of us and have been extremely helpful so far. I knew this was our official Evaluation Sessions for the IEP, but I wasn't sure exactly how they would approach it. Essentially, E had a normal "speech therapy" session, they got some information from us, and now we can check that step off our list.

I know they are qualified to evaluate him from an entire language perspective, but most of yesterday's evaluation was focused on listening and speaking with an acknowledgement of his skills in ASL. I wonder if it would also be appropriate to evaluate from ASL only point of view, too. I think I will have to ask his Deaf teacher about that. Though I'm not sure how their evaluative rubrics would accommodate that, it seems that if we're being truly consistent with our educational goals for him that this would need to take place, too. Hmm. I guess I'm off to write some more emails.

morning, peeps

Shower and coffee before 8am. That's got to be some kind of record. Except I did it yesterday, too. E's been waking up earlier lately, despite his blacked-out window. But he's been sleeping better at night, so I guess I can't complain. Except that I haven't been sleeping better, what with that annoying bladder that needs attending and stiff hips/pelvis/entire body that won't get comfy. Seriously, every day I just feel like this baby is just gonna fall out. There is so much pressure it's hard to move sometimes. I suppose that's a good thing, because I hope that's exactly what he does--fall out, that is. Just a bit uncomfy in the meantime.

C set up the crib yesterday. After much measuring, moving, and pondering, we decided not to get a cosleeper, but set up the crib in a cosleeping arrangement, like with one side off attached to our bed. I'll post pics once it's finished, in case you're having trouble visualizing this. Our new arrangement is a little crowded, but it works. Honestly, our room is so small it's pretty much impossible not to feel crowded, but I think when we're done with Total Bedroom Makeover, it will feel cozy. I sewed the tricky part to the top of my quilt on Saturday and then sent the rest of the fabric and my sewing machine home with my mom. She'll add the borders and attach the back and sew my curtains. Thanks, mom! I've had plenty of evening time to sew, but absolutely zero evening energy. Basically as soon the dishes are done, I make a beeline for the couch until I stagger to bed. I do try to do a little yoga before bed. I feel so much better when I do.

Anyway, my pre-baby to-do list still feels a bit overwhelming, but it's starting to get under control. I actually made a to-do list for C, too, which I don't think I've ever done in our entire almost seven years of marriage. Since basically the majority of the things that need to happen require his brains and strength. I play the role of distressed female. He keeps asking, "how long until this baby is Ellis?" like if this baby is born as early as Ellis was, how much longer until then? Can you tell we were a little traumatized by that event? haha! As of now, we have two weeks until this baby is Ellis, six if this baby is your average pregnancy. I'm rooting for somewhere in between.

I'm kind of cracking up at us, though, because we're acting like first-timers. All the frantic household upheaval, rearranging, redoing. With E we were packing up and moving our household, so no decorations, fun paint colors, etc. Even though we're driving ourselves a little crazy, it is a little fun. E's infanthood paraphanelia was so haphazardly thrown together at the last minute. I was actually kind of shocked at how much we needed to do the infant thing again. I either can't find it or it didn't exist--probably a combination of both. Though, we are totally set on blue baby blankets of all sorts, shapes, sizes, weights--it's fun to get those out again, especially since so many people made us such nice blankets. It's fun to remember those gifts. Anyway, enough rambling. Better go do something productive while E is at school.