date with E

So I'm still navigating this two kid thing. It takes a long time to have a baby. First, there is the pregnancy, which is 40 weeks of FOR.E.VER. The actual labor and delivery part is short, sweet, and to the point, and then there's this long, nebulous stage called post-partum. I'm not sure how long that lasts. Maybe it's different for each person. I remember this with Ellis, too, getting a weird surge of weird hormones around nine months. At the time I blamed it on my thesis and other stressful life's circumstances, but really, I should stick by my personal motto: "Never underestimate the power of the hormone."

The other night, though, I really felt like I was sobbing over something legitimate.

As we prepare for another baby, there's all the things we expect: the intensity of a newborn's needs, the care of the other kid, and the fleetingness of it all in the end. We've sort of found a new routine. Two kids, two parents. Newborn goes with mom, 3yo goes with dad. And a newborn is so all-consuming that I have felt, well, consumed. I have struggled to balance the needs of two kids. Thank goodness for babywearing! Marlowe has been there and back again from day one tied to me in some fashion as we kept up with Ellis's therapy, need to climb on playgrounds, need to play in the snow, etc. When other adults help me, it usually is taking Ellis so that I could focus on Marlowe. And then Ellis started school full-time, which is hard on me, but something we've come to terms with as the best situation for education right now.

At the beginning of the school year, I planned after school picnics as a time for us to reconnect and bond. With Marlowe being so young, he could pretty much just lie there or be held while I focused on Ellis. Then the weather got cold and Marlowe got active. And the after school until bedtime period is a long, fussy one for Marlowe. So now I throw some snacks at Ellis, yell at him to quit jumping on the couch, try to remember to take him to the toilet, maybe play with him for a few minutes, and try to keep him happy while I make dinner.

The other night I was crying on the couch because I miss Ellis!

We used to spend a lot more time together. I did so much stuff with him. We had so much fun. I miss that time we had when it was just he and I. I feel like between the attention of taking care of a new baby and his going to school, I've lost a lot of time with him. And he's only three and a half!!!

My dear hubby came up with the best idea ever: Mommy Dates.

So once a week, I will take Ellis out, just the two of us. And I can focus solely on him. It actually serves double-duty. Because Daddy gets to spend extra time with Marlowe, time that he has had less of than when Ellis was a baby.

This afternoon we had our first Mommy Date. Earlier in the day I was at the children's museum with Marlowe and a group from church, and I bought Ellis a new puzzle in the gift shop. So I took Ellis and the puzzle to a nearby coffee shop, where we got coffee and orangina to take upstairs.

We did the puzzle three times. The second time, he turned into it puzzle/memory game. We talked about the picture and different things around the room we were sitting in. We sat at the table in a coffee shop for a good hour (my 3yo!), soaking up the time together.

Behind us, the coffee roaster was busy in the back roasting beans hummingly. As we were leaving, I pointed it out to Ellis. The guy roasting the coffee invited us back for a closer look and showed Ellis all how it worked and had him "help" pour beans. He gave Ellis a handful of coffee beans. It was so cool! Ellis was thrilled. We had such a fantastic time together. I can hardly wait for next week!