EIGHT YEARS, peeps!!! That is eight years of blogging. On this day eight years ago, I wrote my first blog entry. (now forever lost in the cyber black hole of deletion.)
I had just started grad school (the first time) when I started the blog. It has taken me through grad school, the move from New Orleans to Philly, and the addition of two kids.
I was blogging before blogging was cool. Eight is like a 80 blog years. Ha! Ok, maybe that's a bit extreme.
So, today, the run-down. Kids slept terribly. I think between them, I was up from 3.30-5.30. Again. Blessed bus driver called to see if I wanted her to pick-up E. Love her. Cold and rainy this morning. Bus, please!
I went out and ran an errand for the lady from church who recently had knee replacement and lives near me, and I went to Target with M. We got a few bits of thing. Including popcorn to munch on. And I got the Magic Eraser for the first time, and now the dining room walls are kid art free. Love it!
Marlowe dumped about 2 c of salt on the last piece of apple pie. I yelled at him. I felt bad about it. Because it's not like he did something wrong. "Want make apple pie!" But, dude! the last huge piece of apple pie! (that was right after he played with eggshells and coffee grounds that are supposed to go to compost.) Sigh.
Delicious soup for supper: ground beef (yes, grass fed), stewed tomatoes, sliced cabbages, a dash of cayenne, salt and pepper.
And a good workout at the gym. 3.4 miles (incl the 5 min warm-up/cool-down)
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So I was in the car listening to the classical station fund raise. I couldn't turn away, it was like listening to a train wreck.
So their promo for x level of donation was a 6 cd set of the top 100 classical pieces of all time or something like that. And, get this, they're organized by mood!!! "Uplifting" and "relaxing", etc. Groan.
But this is what I found really interesting. The two people were having this discussion on whether or not a few of the pieces really should be on the Uplifting CD, (the two pieces were he "Montagues and Capulets" from Prokofiev's Romeo and Juliet and Sibelius's Finlandia). Sooo, I'm dying to know what these people consider is uplifting classical music. Because apparently minor keys don't make the cut. They did play an example of they considered to be very uplifting (the last movment of Beethoven's 9th), And THEN they said, "what can you possibly play to follow that?" Which was just the perfect thing to say. Because it is like the embodiment of the Beethoven complex of the 19th century, like how some people (*ahem*Brahms*ahem*) had a hard time approaching writing a symphony because of the Beethoven shadow. After that they moved onto the relaxing CD. Apparently "Casta Diva" is "relaxing." I pretended to be Maria Callas.
Part the First: wherein encounters with the public library lead to benefits beyond my wildest dreams.
I am attempting to renew our overdue relationship with the public library. (heh, heh.) The public library and I have a rocky relationship that is based on fines. When we moved to this house last fall we changed counties from the 'burbs to the city. About a month ago I finally got a library card for the Free Library of Philadelphia. This is what our public library is called, because Ben Franklin invented it and back then what made it distinctive was that it was free. (Except I can't remember if that meant Free, as in no charge, or free, as in anyone can use it, or something else, but "free" is the operative word) (Except in my case, where it should be called Fine Library of Philadelphia--in my defense, though, I'm not doing too badly. under $10 over the month.)
Since it is for the sake of the children that I subject myself to this torturous remembrance of immanent due dates, we've mostly emerged from our local branch carrying piles of kids books and DVDs. And they're really enjoying that. Did you know that Scholastic has recorded tons of books onto DVD? So that means that it's like Not-as-bad TV time, because they're sorting of reading a book, too. See, smart parenting right there. (/sarcastic)
But a few days ago I was browsing around the Free library website looking for something to put on hold for me, since browsing in a library with little ones in tow is basically a non-option. I came across their online databases.
I have access to Oxford Music Online--including Grove Music!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have been without any access, save for Google, these past years, and it is like coming across an oasis in the desert. I'm giddy, my step is a little lighter, and I can stand a little taller. I have Access. The hallowed gates to academic research are now open to, yea, even this Non-affiliated Mother of Toddlers.
Part the Second: wherein Access affords interesting discoveries.
The other big thing happening for me right now is that I'm applying to grad school again. Right now I'm in the throes of GRE prep. *groan* But soon I'll be writing essays and whatnot to get my applications together by December.
One of the things I've been doing in order to focus myself to write these eventual essays is articulate exactly which avenues of research I'm really interested. My main area is, of course, late medieval/early Ren. music history, and my main work will probably be done in that area. But there's a lot of interesting things happening in scholarship that can open up different kinds of questions.
The world of Deaf is now an inextricable part of my life, thanks to my son. Before Ellis was born, I didn't know anything about deafness or deaf people. Now, though sometimes it feels like deafness is this little insular minority, it also feels like I see it everywhere now. I never bumped into Deaf people before I had Ellis, now we do all the time. I say this a little jokingly, because I very well may have before, but because we weren't attuned to signing and deafness, we may never have know. Now, if we're signing or see someone else signing, it's a lot easier to make that connection.
I'm rambling a little, but I guess I'm asking the question, what if I put on the eyeglass of deaf and then looked at teh world of music history? how would I understand the music experience of deaf people? Where would that take me?
First, there's Beethoven. What did he have to say about being deaf? There's obviously the Heiligenstadt Testament.
...thus it has been during the past year which I spent in the country, commanded by my intelligent physician to spare my hearing as much as possible, in this almost meeting my natural disposition, although I sometimes ran counter to it yielding to my inclination for society, but what a humiliation when one stood beside me and heard a flute in the distance and I heard nothing, or someone heard the shepherd singing and again I heard nothing, such incidents brought me to the verge of despair, but little more and I would have put an end to my life - only art it was that withheld me, ah it seemed impossible to leave the world until I had produced all that I felt called upon me to produce...
I am sure there is stuff out there on Beethoven and deafness.
Then, there is also Deaf people who make music. I will certainly explore that.
But then, when I plugged deaf into Grove Music I found something I wasn't even looking for.
Contemporary German composer Helmut Oehring (b. 1961) was born the hearing child of deaf parents. His first language in the home was sign language. (I'm presuming German sign language.) He incorporates deafness and signing into his compositions.
Oehring's compositions derive from the complex physical and facial expressions of sign language, which he notates as music. His works outline bleak narratives that address the chasm between individuals and the futility of communication. His early compositions are concerned with stages of agony and human actions that lead to death; in later works, speech as a symbol of the impossibility of human discourse becomes the central musical subject. Much of his work can be considered social criticism. Several compositions include deaf people among the performers.
(Gisela Nauck. "Oehring, Helmut." Grove Music Online. Oxford Music Online. 11 Aug. 2010 .)
He uses deaf people signing as soloists in some of his works. Look at the instrumentation for a couple of his pieces:
* Wrong (Schaukeln-Essen-Saft) (B. Sellin, Oehring), deaf person, ob, b tpt/trbn, vn/va, elec gui, perc, live elec, 1993–5;
* Self-Liberator (Oehring, R. Taumel), 2 deaf people, tpt, ens, 1994
* ER.eine.She, 1v + b fl, 3 deaf soloists, vc, installations, elecs, 2002
I'm wondering, do the soloists themselves have to be deaf? or just sign? (I'm inclined to think the former.)
I tried to find a good YouTube clip. This is the best I could find, a sampler of his works. Skip ahead to 5'10" to find the piece with the deaf soloist.
I don't really know what she is saying. German Sign Language? and the highly stylized signing for the context?
I find the staging to be really striking. Distinct contrasts between light and dark. Her face and hands stand out against the dark background, no doubt to ensure that they are clearly seen.
Anyway, can you tell I'm totally fascinated by this? Guess I'll have to reacquaint myself with the German language again.
I don't know why I am even blogging about this, since it will likely end up in a fruitless ramble and totally uninteresting. It just rolls around in my head all the time. I'm always thinking about "when I get back into research/into a PhD program". I'm not working on anything now. Not a thing. Quiet moments I steal for sewing. It feels more productive, and it has instant gratification status. Something research doesn't have. I don't feel gratified about my thesis and the stupid thing is signed, sealed, and delivered. In fact, as I was dusting this morning, I had the thought again, "was it even any good?" Obviously I passed. And my committee members aren't the type of people who would "just be nice" and let it pass. So it couldn't have entirely stunk. But still, it's not the taste that I want left in my mouth on this hiatus from brain work. Whatever. It is what it is.
Anyway, the thesis aside, it is done after all--I do think about other things. I think that I ought to be keeping up my chops in some areas, medieval/Ren notation, Latin, languages. I should read those books that I never got to. Linger over passages I never had time for. It's more than just an "i ought to". I do want to. I miss the ol' repertoire I was starting to get familiar with, starting to make a home in. I've missed it for awhile, since it wasn't anywhere near my thesis topic. I feel like if I sit down with it, it will start coming back to me, like riding a bike. I have a very solid foundation in reading mensural notation. And I love it!
In the Christmas season, I went to hear Anonymous 4. I should've blogged about it, because it was a fantastic concert experience. Partly due to the fact that I simply cannot remember that last time I had gone to a concert. The time is measured in years, for sure. It may have been when I went to hear the Emerson Quartet in spring 2004. I'm really pathetic. But anyway, back to Anon. 4, they sang a medieval mass the parts of which they had assembled. It had a little something of everything, early polyphony, chant, tropes of varying sorts, songs. A nice showcase of 13th/14th century liturgical music. It felt really good to listen to it--and thrilling to be hearing it live--partly because I knew what was going on. Even after this break in even thinking about it, I really understood the different parts musically as I listened to them. (And I kind of felt like giving a music appreciation class to everyone around me, but I managed to restrain myself.)
Sometimes I feel annoyed. Why do I know all this stupid, esoteric stuff? What was the purpose of slaving away in grad school for 5 years? All that work is hardly making a difference in my life now. That's not to say that it won't possibly someday. It just feels annoying now.
Other than reading a little and possibly working through my facsimile, which has a great variety of 14th/15th c repertoire, I'm not sure what else I could be doing right now. There's no way I could work on an article. I do have a couple of ideas, but they would take a major investment of time and energy that I'm not prepared to give. If I do ever reapply to PhD programs, though, I don't want to have a big fat blank in these intervening years. I guess if I ever got to the point of writing a personal statement, I would've figured some of this out anyway. You can't just apply in an aimless sort of way. You have to be someone worth investing in. Whatever. I'm just not that person at this phase in my life. Especially since I'm having another baby in a few months. Yes, can you believe it!? I'm still pregnant!!
I don't want to sound dissatisfied with where I am right now, because I'm really happy to be doing what I'm doing, raising my babies. I want the freedom I have to spend hours playing cars with E. And it's hard to think of splitting my precious mental energy. It's just that, well, I am the sum of my past, I suppose. I can't just break off that bit of me I invested so much and totally shelve it. But it's there on the shelf. And sometimes I think I could be happy just leaving it there forever. I don't know. *shrug*
I've been meaning to blog various sundry things, but I think I'll just blitz by them with a nod for the sake of time.
First, here's a fun music cognition test from the Univ. of Newcastle upon Tyne (via Household Opera). It involves listening to pairs of tunes and deciding whether they are the same or different.
I don't read the NY Times regularly, so I'm always grateful when particular articles get pointed out...esp this one about L'homme armé masses (?!?!?!?!)...how's that for a bit of pop musicology?
YOU are a Renaissance composer. You have been asked to compose a setting of the Latin Mass, a text that begins "Kyrie eleison" ("Lord, have mercy") and ends "Dona nobis pacem" ("Grant us peace"). You scratch your lice-bitten scalp, tap your quill against the lectern. How to start?
A ditty has been running through your head: DUM-da DUM-da DA DA DA. Catchy. Rich in musical matter: ascending fourths, descending fifths. Tailor made for counterpoint. And maybe, just maybe, if you use it as the basis for your Mass, the Lord will have mercy and drive it out of your head, now and forever, amen.
Halfway through the Sanctus, you're going great guns. You've even used the tune in a canon (to the words "peace on earth"), which should earn you some admiring glances when you walk into the local musician's hangout, the Armed Man.
The Armed Man? That, of course, is the name of the tune: "L'Homme armé." And now, only now, you remember the words:
L'homme, l'homme, l'homme armé,
L'homme armé, l'homme armé doibt on doubter, doibt on doubter.
On a fait partout crier
Que chascun se viegne armer
D'un haubregon de fer.
The armed man,
The armed man must be feared.
Everywhere it is proclaimed
That everyone must arm himself
With a coat of mail.
Hardly the right sort of tune to be using for a Mass, is it? Well, maybe no one will notice.
You dip your nib, scratch harder, just above your left ear got him!
COULD this really be how it happened?
Aaaah. What we've all been asking...
Later Eisenberg asks:
Who, exactly, is the Armed Man?
That, indeed, is the million dollar question.
It's not a bad article.
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Ellis made what could be considered his first sign last weekend: more. He's not really using it to communicate "more." I think it's just an easy sign to make. He knows he's doing something important, and it makes him super excited, which is super exciting for us to watch. He really is getting into his signing time dvd's, too, waving his hands around trying to do what they're doing and looking at us for reinforcement/encouragement. He's so ADORABLE!!!
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I wanted to say something about Mardi Gras yesterday, but I didn't. I didn't really know what to say. It was a hard day for me, because it was a focal point of all my emotions about New Orleans. I miss our life there; sure it was time for it to end, but still...I left a part of me there. Plus, grief over the hurricane, and emotion about Mardi Gras actually happening.
And then frustration about how the news handled it. Somebody suggeseted I watch Mardi Gras coverage on TV, thinking it might make me feel better. Even though, I thought that that was a pretty lame idea, I was suckered into watching CNN for a tiny bit. Bad idea. First, they kept making all these racially divided polls--e.g. "should we have Mardi Gras?" "how should we celebrate Mardi Gras?". It just seemed so...cheap. Plus, I don't see how making those kinds of polls is going to help the hurt and frustration surrounding race in that city. If anything it only reinforces it! Argh. Then, CNN's coverage of Mardi Gras was pretty much limited to the tourists on Bourbon Street. Bless them for their monetary contribution to the city, but that is not what Mardi Gras is all about. There's something about how the city rallies together for the celebration--it's better than Christmas. It is a time of happiness and joy. I don't think I can explain it, and CNN totally missed the boat.
Yesterday's being Mardi Gras made me remember what I loved about the city and made me mourn how we lived when we lived there, which is part of the process of moving.
Now that Ellis has a hearing aid, I've been working on his musical education, since now I'm not sure he got anything when I was teaching music appreciation when I was pregnant. I'm blaring music for him to listen to, just in case he can pick up any sound. We've been listening to his CD of Bach's Goldberg Variations. Today I put on Beethoven's Piano Concerto No. 5 "Emperor". After all he and Beethoven have something in common. At the opening sforzando chord, which was really loud, since the volume is way up on the stereo, he looked at me like what was that? Maybe he could just feel the vibrations, but I wonder if he can pick up a little. Sometimes he looks like perhaps he's listening. It's hard to tell. I'll just keep playing music.
